Venice

slloveitaly said,

Can anyone give me some advice. I have such deep feelings for a friend. I'm still trying to figure out if I'm bi or a lesbian. I think Bi b/c I'm still attracted to men. anyway, my friend and I have a connection that I've never had with another human being. the problem is she is in a relationship with a man for over 13 years now. I honestly don't think she'll ever leave her man. we haven't even spoken about that happen. I want to let go b/c it hurts to much knowing that I can't be with her. How can I resolve these feelings and still be her friend and be there for her.

icard said,

MagFost said,

the emotional connection is so much more intimate and intense with my g/f than with my husband. I wonder if part of that is due to the length of time we have been together, or the fact that even tho', I talk to her everyday, I don't see her everyday. And the fact that my husband and I have been together so long that we know each others ways so well. Maybeit is that we take one another for granted...

seems to me like you have the best of both worlds. I've been married 20 yrs and always missed the connection with a girl. Now I think that I found it but can't deal with the situation...

MagFost said,

icard said,

MagFost said,

the emotional connection is so much more intimate and intense with my g/f than with my husband. I wonder if part of that is due to the length of time we have been together, or the fact that even tho', I talk to her everyday, I don't see her everyday. And the fact that my husband and I have been together so long that we know each others ways so well. Maybeit is that we take one another for granted...

seems to me like you have the best of both worlds. I've been married 20 yrs and always missed the connection with a girl. Now I think that I found it but can't deal with the situation...

It takes a lot of communication and patience., tolerance and understanding to deal with the situations that come about when you are in relationship with your husband and g/f, on everyones part. It is easier to choose one or the other, but I cannot choose, I love them both.

I'm also bi-sexual. Since I was 12 I had some off and on "concerns" that I might be lesbian but I was mostly attracted to boys and later, men. I was only attracted to a few individual girls and not girls in general, but I could say the same for the boys, except I had more serious boy crushes and more of them. I really was quite confused. I did not even know about bi-sexuality until I was in my early twenties (I read a Cosmo article LOL!) I had thought everyone was either straight or gay and was raised to believe this.

I married relatively young and divorced a year later because he was abusive. My next three relationships were with men with no serious girl crushes that I can remember. I never really had a really strong and lasting relationship with any of the men I dated. There was emotional attachment and great sex with a few of them but no real soul connection and conversation was not good with any of these men; they were all about getting physical. No man that I was ever in a relationship with has ever cuddled and kissed me without wanting to go all the way. The message was clear from them: "Don't even touch me if you do not mean business."

Then, five years ago, I met a woman with whom I first became friends and I found myself being very attracted to her physically as well as emotionally. I could certainly tell she was into me but I avoided talking about it with her and tried to wish the feelings away. I was like, "This CANNOT be happening to me!!" I was raised to believe that being gay was wrong although I did not actually believe that; I was afraid that I would be looked upon as a freak by others and scorned by my friends and family. I really searched my soul and came to the conclusion that I was bi-sexual, but I also told myself that I could just be friends with this woman and choose to be with a man again.

This is how I learned first hand that who you love is just who you love and you cannot run away. My feelings for this woman grew stronger and she was the brave one to first admit her feelings for me. She had also only been with men her entire life but had had some clues that she might not be 100% straight. It is clear to both of us that we give more to each other than all of our relationships combined ever gave us.

We have been together for nearly five years. Our connection is very deep, loving, and intense. The circumstances are such that we cannot live together at this point, but we both would love to. This is the longest relationship I have ever had and this person is family to me.

Only one person in my family knows and this person is hoping that I will one day meet a man again. This person tells me, "You are still young and very attractive, you will meet the right man." This family member has also told me that if my other family members and my friends found out, they would be done with me. Everyone in my family is homophobic (except for me) and I would be scorned if I told them, I am certain, and so for this reason and another more private reason, I have not come out to them. I pray for the day to come when people can love who they want to love without getting chastised and ridiculed for it.

When the story of Otalia blossomed on GL, it felt like a huge gift. I could surely relate to it, and it helped me to realize that loving a woman is not "weird", it is "love."

well,
I am a young 18 year old bisexual and stil have lots to learn. i am very open with my friends but no so much the family. i come from a catholic family, i guess thats why is so hard.....i was wondering what advic would you give me!

well,
I am a young 18 year old bisexual and stil have lots to learn. i am very open with my friends but no so much the family. i come from a catholic family, i guess thats why is so hard.....i was wondering what advic would you give me!late2knight said,

Hi,
I went like this...
Although it is 30 years ago, I still do it the same.
First find out what your parents think about people being gay.
If they only mention men, add women to the discussion.
If the topic never comes up, use the remote to casually hit a series or sceduled movie on tv and start there.
Next I let it rest, or perhaps simmer.
Next discuss bisexuality as a general item.
If they are too negative, ask what if a good friend of you would tell you that. (Avoid promiscuity...)
Next: what if one of your children would be gay?
Good luck!
PS I used almost 4 months between first and last part.

All my friends know, but I haven't found the courage to tell my family yet...

well,
I am a young 18 year old bisexual and stil have lots to learn. i am very open with my friends but no so much the family. i come from a catholic family, i guess thats why is so hard.....i was wondering what advic would you give me!