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"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans." ~John Lennon

Hello All!

I'm actually not the best person to quote...well, quotes. But this one has resonated with me all of my adult life. I guess its because I believe that we have no real control of what's ahead. Only in the present moment can we choose which direction we want to go and then that moment ends. Hopefully, we can follow that path and end up where we dreamed of ending up. But, alas, sometimes...there are detours.

Detours aren't necessarily a bad thing too. I've discovered unearthed passions I never knew I had by taking the "road less traveled" or the road still under construction...maybe with big bumps, sink holes...or a bridge or two out. : ) It may not be easy or even remotely pleasant but there can be value in it. I can tell you that is what this summer has offered me. So, what else can you do but buckle up and go for the ride!

This summer was pretty well mapped out. I've been writing with a great group of women connected to a Major Studio. I turned in my most recent Pilot Episode and four days later, the Writers strike began. OK. I can still ponder ideas and

make notes. I had my nieces wedding to attend in late June, a production of Venice slated for the end of July and a fun NYC trip scheduled mid August.

Well, my Mom passed early June. (PS so grateful for all the support and well wishes) Michael and I made an impromptu trip home. I gave myself the job of going through all of her financials ( she handled all of that) and notes regarding my

younger brother, Don. He's been diagnosed with multiple things but the latest is Autism Spectrum Disorder. He's always had this that I can remember. Nicest guy but needs care. My Dad was grieving in his own way. It had only been a week since

she died and they were cleaning out her closet. . I put the brakes on that. Give it 'til Tuesday, Dudes. ; )

We had a wake and headed back West. Two weeks later we were back in Baltimore for the Wedding. Lovely. Loved being back in the city for the weekend. Started bawling in the middle of my toast to the Bride and Groom. Thank God my wine didn't spill. ; ) When we got home, there were days I didn't want to get out of bed. I let myself lay there. Other days, I was deep cleaning my house and taking intense HIIT classes. I felt "normal".

I saw the writing on the wall in early July. SAG-AFTRA was going on strike too. Made sense. And I totally support what we are fighting for. That being said, I had a studio and other folks on hold but had to let them go wasn't going to happen.

OK. Michael and I headed to NYC for some perk fulfillment. Great fun and Great people! Still, I had moments where I felt like I had to withdraw and crawl back into bed. I think it went well but I had to give myself permission to just BE. I'm so grateful

my Emotional Support Spouse was with me. He knows me so well he can see when I'm fading back a bit. That being said, I loved by time back in NYC! We laughed, drank, bowled, escaped a room, hung out...saw some great shows! Awesome time!

We made it home on a Friday. I was actually so happy to be able to sleep in Saturday. But then another morning call from the East! My younger brother had gotten into an altercation with my Dad. My Dad was fine but still...neighbors called police and Don was taken to the nearest hospital for observation. I managed to get through to him but he wasn't very coherent. He was moved, without any of us knowing, to a 24 hour crisis hospital for more observation. I managed to get that info from the hospital. It's a challenge because Donnie is a 55 year old man and we have no legal rights to ask questions.

At this place, some lovely person got Don to sign a release so I could get to him and get more details of what was going on with him. And where he went next. He's in a good place where he's in daily group meetings. It was tricky getting through to him at first. Reception told me I needed a code word to talk to him. I said, "OK, give me a code word." "It has to be a word that you and your brother create.", she said. I took a deep breath and said, "You see where this might be tricky for me, right?" She took my number and gave it to Don and, when he contacted me, I was like CODE WORD! Seriously....

My older brother and Dad saw him yesterday. He's doing well. I'm hopeful this could be the beginning of something good for him. He told me this AM that these meetings help him to "get in touch with his emotions". I think this may be the first time he's used the word Emotions...So, I'm hopeful.

Anyhoo, I'm having a really good Friday! lol. I take it a day at a time. Let myself feel whatever is real...and constantly remind myself that no matter the detours that life takes you on...there's always something good that can come out of it...

I hope you enjoy this long weekend! I'm off to make Dylan his favorite Dinner. It's his 20th Bday tomorrow! Life moves on....




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Crystal, I'm so sorry for all of the stress you've been dealing with over the last few months. Losing your mom, I'm sure, was stressful enough. Take all of the time that you need to grieve and to learn to live with this tremendous loss as life goes on. Our family had experienced three major losses over the last 12 months. Am reading a book about grief. It's really good.

If someone in your family can speak to a lawyer in order to request guardianship over Don, that might make things a bit easier to oversee his care for the remainder of his life. I'd recommend someone who lives near him.

I hope that fall and winter lead you on…


Delphine Caffin
Delphine Caffin
Sep 02, 2023
new on the site, and new reader of your blog, I feel  touched and very moved deep inside of me. I feel every word of yours,
they echo in me. thank you for your simplicity and your trust. life is a hard and long way… you are not alone. we walk with you 

Wishing you and your family peace, healing and much love especially in your darkest moments. Life can be challenging but also beautiful.

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